Have you ever been really burned by someone? Like slap in the face, think you know them but turns out you don’t, sell you out for 30 pieces of silver, kinda burned?
No? Okay well I guess it’s just me then…and Jesus.
Honestly though I think we’ve all, at one point or another, gone through a disappointing and sometimes even heartbreaking situation with someone we thought had our backs; someone who made promises they never tried to nor intended to keep; someone who decided that their personal desires were much more important that safeguarding your heart. I could probably go on and on about the types of people even I have encountered that made me feel like the gum beneath someone else’s shoe, but that would take a while. This, ironically, is especially true when you’ve been in a romantic relationship with this person.
Can the choir sing amen?!
I’m not even going to pretend or sugar coat it, there are some really awful people in this world; or are there?
I think too often we place the blame primarily on the other person and forget our own fault in the situation. I mean think about it, in all these failed relationships the only common factor is you (me), maybe we are the problem.
So here’s my suggestion:
Love your ex, they’re your neighbour too.
Okay calm down! Before you start throwing stones (a.k.a. typing nasty comments) please just hear me out.
I’m not saying that the guy who beat on his girlfriend or the girl who verbally abused her boyfriend is the innocent victim of character deformation. That is not my point at all. I’m just saying that maybe some of these bad breakups were not all because of the other person, in fact I truly believe some of them were completely avoidable.
In life sometimes there are lots of signs that try to stare us clear of entering certain situations but human nature has taught us to be so stubborn and head strong that sometimes we don’t see that our own desires are going to lead to our detriment.
Then as Christians, we sometimes do things without asking for God’s direction and then in end when that “number 2” hits the fan, it was either the devil who messed with the saint, or some fool who just tried to play us. I am, unfortunately, no stranger to this trap. I’ll give you an example:
I was once in a relationship that I knew I shouldn’t have been in from the jump. And it wasn’t that this person wasn’t christian, or was some thug, or anything like that, I just knew from the beginning that it wasn’t a good idea. But, I was lonely!
Let me pause here to give you a little side note: That feeling of loneliness can break you if you allow it and persuade you to become a person that you’re not in an attempt to fill a void only God can fill. Stay Woke!
Ultimately, you can probably imagine that it didn’t end very well which sucked because we were actually friends before we played the fool. When I left the relationship I was heart-broken, I felt as though I knew nothing about this person, and they obviously cared nothing about me or they wouldn’t have treated me the way they did. I was so angry and bitter that it scared me a little bit, I could no longer remember where that pain ended and I began; it seemed like we had become one (the pain and I that is). I’ll admit it was a dark place to find myself, and I needed to get out.
I won’t bore you with all the details but it took me a while before I finally came to this conclusion; maybe it wasn’t that this person wasn’t a good person, they just weren’t the person I wanted them to be because they were never meant to be that person. I was trying to pick pears from an apple tree by trying to get this person to fit into a role they weren’t qualified to occupy.
I realized then that it wasn’t just that I knew I shouldn’t have been in that relationship, but God was trying to lead me away from making the mistake that I did, but sometimes we have to learn from our mistakes and our own selfish desires. I found myself hating on a man of God, who did nothing more than help me realize what wasn’t right for me. I made the decision then that I was going to love this person, not for them and definitely not for me, but for God.
If we are commanded to love those who hate us, why shouldn’t we love those who tried to love us and it didn’t work out?
As children of God, I find it hard to believe that the same God who commanded us to love others like we love ourselves; do good to those who curse us; and pray for those who hate us, would be okay with us avoiding and even hating that ex of ours – especially after we had no business being with them in the first place!