Recently my really good friend Mark, known to many as Young Phenom, released a new single, I’ll put the link for it below so you can all go check it out….it’s fire BTW (just saying).
Usually, I’m all up on his music when they are first released, sharing with as many people as possible, but this time it was different. The song is called “Reasons”, hence the title of this post. Honestly, it got me all up in my feels and made me do a lot of internalization – I was stewing on this one for a while.
In the song he talks about his journey in the Gospel music industry in Antigua, especially in regards to support and the “grind” of the work. If the heading didn’t give you an insight already, the whole song focuses on the “reasons for the rhymes”.
It made me ask myself this very important question – “Why do you do what you do?”
I think it’s a question we should all ask ourself; in the moments when it seems hard to do it and you feel like you’re failing, and also in the moments when things are going great and it feels like you’re moving up the ladder of success. Remind yourself of the “WHY”.
When I first started this blog, I felt completely lost: lost in my relationships – with God, family, friends; lost in ministry; lost in career and work; lost in LIFE!
People kept asking me what I wanted to do with my life (career wise) and the only thing I could tell them was that I had no clue, because I didn’t. I literally had no idea. I studied Accounting in college, and I did pretty well – I actually graduated Valedictorian – but I just knew deep down that if I were to do accounting for the rest of my life, it would be a life that I wouldn’t wish on anybody – a miserable life. I have no passion for it.
Then somebody told me to ask myself what it is that I love doing and that’s how I’ll figure out what I’m passionate about. And I did! I love helping people, I love using my life stories to encourage others and to give good Godly advice – advice that I never thought was available to me when I needed it.
There is one thing that I’ve come to learn though and its that – not because you are passionate about it, means that there are others out there who are as passionate about it as you are or are as opened to facilitating your passion.
I was always afraid of that – people not wanting what I was trying to put out (or sell).
There’s a part of the song that I think we can all identify with –
“Instead of checking for me to criticise, write a check for me. Hear them talking down on my name but they won’t check for me. Asked for one assist in the game, they say they praying for me, ignore me.”
I haven’t been blogging for as long as he has been doing music, not even close, and already I’ve felt like this in some ways. Lots of times it can be very disappointing when you’re trying to put yourself out there and do something for the Kingdom, and you don’t get as much support from the people around you as you would like to. It’s especially like this if you’re doing something different, something that people are not accustomed to – like the prophet who is not recognized in his own town.
But then you have to remember the “reasons” why you started doing what you’re doing in the first place. You start to think about those who’ve been down from the jump – who are there behind you asking questions when they see you lapsing, motivating you to put out new content, there to lend an ear to your frustrations… Those are the ones, like Phe says, who pray for you and pay for you – they are some of your reasons. And for those people, you motivate yourself to keep going.
If you can’t stop thinking about it, then don’t give up on it!!
Then the song started to lead me to think deeper – listening to a song all throughout the day at work for three days straight will do that to you! It made me think about my reasons for not only doing this ministry, but for walking the Christian journey all together.
Lately, I’ve been going through such a tough time in my Christian walk – not really with feelings of wanting to go back into the world or anything like that. I’ve just been thinking to myself that I should be so much further ahead in my walk with Christ than I am right now and thoughts of me essentially not being “good at this” have been plaguing my mind. And you know when you’re trying something, and you feel like you’re putting in a wealth of energy, and for whatever reason you’re not progressing as quickly as you’d like and giving up just suddenly starts to feel like the best option? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately – like I’m wasting God’s time because I’m not getting any better at this.
Then this song happened and I got a “reality check” so I started “checking for it”. What if I were to quit? Quit blogging, quit ministering, quit christianity…. Then what? Where do I go from there? Back to the darkness? Back to the lies? Back to my “own vomit” (Prov. 26:11)? And then it would have all been for what? What was my reason for starting in the first place? Have those things disappeared from my life? Are they of lesser value? Do I no longer just want to make the King “proud of me”?
I feel like too often, when the going gets rough we see it as a means of escape (a reason to give up) – thinking that if this was really meant to be then God would not possibly make it this difficult. But we couldn’t be more wrong. The Bible clearly cautions us to expect obstacles and persecution because Christ himself had to endure and face those things. We learn to greater appreciate the things that don’t come easily to us – the things we have to work hard to accomplish.
I started to realize that my feelings of not being satisfied with where I am in my Christian walk shouldn’t make me want to quit but should propel me to do – to be – better.
Stop letting fear prevent you from playing the game. So what if they don’t support you, God will always bless what he has ordained – it’s not your job to worry about “the how”, you need only to remember the whys and just do it. Stop allowing the fear of failure (something that has not even happened yet) to prevent you for from stepping out and finding out what could be.
Mistakes teach us what doesn’t work, so we can know in the future what will.
Stay Blessed Chroniclers!
Check out Reasons by Young Phenom ft. Delcia Bellot on YouTube by clicking this link – Reasons (Proud Of Me) ft. Delcia Bellot
Follow Young Phenom on Instagram and Twitter @pheVSphe.